ANGRY TUESDAY - FOLK METAL

Something about Tuesdays makes me angry… I don’t know what it is. Maybe because it’s such a nothing day.

I want to take you on a little trip through metal, mythology…and folk music. I’m taking a sneak peak at an interesting sub genre of metal called FOLK METAL. For the uninitiated it kind of sounds reminiscent of middle earth, the war cry that would ring out as the armies of Sauron march out from the fires of Mordor. And if you’re a little geeked out by what I’ve said so far, I would run for the hills…

Folk Metalists: Eluveitie

FOLK METAL is said to have begun with one band, SKYCLAD back in the early 90’s. The genre takes on all the elements of metal, but it also adds folk instruments and, to some extent, more traditional styles of singing. Here’s where it began.

The genre caused such a stir amongst fans and media to the point where well-known black metal musicians from bands DARKTHRONE and SATYRICON came together to form a ‘supergroup’ with members of DOOM METAL band THE 3^RD AND THE IMMORTAL.

The use of violins, tin whistles, flutes, and/or the hurdy gurdy (my personal favourite) gives the music a certain celtic feel, which spawned the sub genre of CELTIC METAL.

Metal isn’t the only genre to bridge the gap with folk by adding some instruments that aren’t usually in the mix. Heard of punk? Heard of DROP KICK MURPHYS? These guys have done it quite well. ENJOY!

*****

F**KED MONDAY - MEAT LOAF

Everybody knows that Mondays are fucked… so I’m giving you music that is fucked…

Love it or hate it, it is still fucked…

ZERO HEADED ONE LEGGED has been on a short hiatus for the last week, and it was gonna take some pretty big news to break the shackles of laziness and get back to it. The exciting news came in the form of everyone’s favourite mystery meat mash announcing that he will be touring AUSTRALIA in October. I’m, of course, talking about MEAT LOAF.

Meat Loaf

Only one thing could make this huge news even massive-er, and that news has also dropped – MEAT LOAF will be playing at the 2011 AFL GRAND FINAL… Holy shit…a bunch of meatheads playing their guts out whilst MEAT LOAF tunes ring in your ears…could it be anymore epic?

Along with the footy extravaganza, The Loaf will be playing A DAY ON THE GREEN at BIMBADGEN WINERY NSW and ROCHFORD WINES VIC (It would be awesome to get boozed at a winery and watch Ol’Meaty), as well as a show at the SYDNEY ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE where you can meet MEAT LOAF as well as see the performance if you have a spare $400, and WA isn’t going to miss out either with a show at NIB STADIUM in PERTH. If ticket sales blow up then they will surely add more shows.

Meat Loaf

I’m sure there are some naysayers reading this asking “what’s the big deal?” well this bloke, in one album alone has sold 43 million copies world wide, making BAT OUT OF HELL (1977) the fifth greatest selling record of all time, only beaten by MICHAEL JACKSON’s THRILLER (1982), AC/DC’s BACK IN BLACK (1980), PINK FLOYD’s THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON (1973), AND WHITNEY HOUSTON’s THE BODYGUARD (1992). To put this into a little more perspective, THE BEATLES don’t get a mention until no.14, selling 11 million less with SGT. PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1962).

The mind truly boggles thinking about the enormity of this album. But what are its origins?

A fella by the name of JIM STEINMAN wrote an album for an updated sci-fi version of PETER PAN titled NEVER LAND. Steinman and Mr. Loaf thought there were 3 stand out tracks, and wanted to make an album around them. The songs were BAT OUT OF HELL, HEAVEN CAN WAIT, and FORMATION OF THE PACK which would be retitled as ALL REVVED WITH NO PLACE TO GO. The 3 tracks would form the basis of the 7 track BAT OUT OF HELL album. But the guys had their balls broken many-a-time in trying to find a record label who would release it. Silly them. A subsidiary of EPIC, CLEVELAND INTERNATIONAL RECORDS released the album.

Clive Davis

CBS executive CLIVE DAVIS made the biggest mistake of his life turning down the album, telling the guys that “Actors don’t make records” (MEAT LOAF was an actor at the time and had appeared in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW as well as a heap of musicals and more recently FIGHT CLUB – “His name was Robert Paulson”) and criticizing JIM STEINMAN by saying:

“Do you know how to write a song?…do you know anything about writing?…you don’t know how to write a song…have you ever listened to pop music?...have you heard any rock n roll music?...you should go downstairs when you leave here and buy some rock n roll records.”

MEAT LOAF would regain the upper hand when leaving the building by yelling “FUCK YOU CLIVE!” from the street. Well, MEAT LOAF and JIM STEINMAN gave CLIVE DAVIS an even bigger fuck you by the album doing so monstrously well.

Anyway, for an artist coming to AUSTRALIA who has the second greatest selling album within the country, only topped by JOHN FARNHAM’s WHISPERING JACK (1986), selling 23 times platinum, you can see how this is kind of a big deal…if you’re a MEAT LOAF fan.

Here are a few classic MEAT LOAF tracks to get you in the mood for his AFL GRAND FINAL appearance. Now there are 2 reasons to watch on that one day in September.

*****

ANGRY TUESDAY - WESTON CAGE

Something about Tuesdays makes me angry… I don’t know what it is. Maybe because it’s such a nothing day.

Weston Cage

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA’s great nephew, aka NICOLAS CAGE’s son aka WESTON CAGE got severely beaten by his trainer/bodyguard after the pair had an altercation over appropriate food selection. Apparently Weston and his bodyguard/trainer take their food rather seriously.

The physical fight started when Weston attempted a roundhouse kick on his companion, but the move backfired severely when his trainer/bodyguard went to town on Weston’s face. Young COPPOLA-CAGE copped 13 punches to the face on a Hollywood street, in a gutter, in broad daylight.He was taken to hospital for stitches, and a brain scan.

Typical of the idiots surrounding the incident, the footage would be captured on camera phone from at least 4 different angles, with nobody appearing to even attempt to intervene.

You can check out some fairly poor camera work of the incident below.

*****

The reason I’m writing about this on ANGRY TUESDAY (apart from the incident being reasonably angry) is that WESTON CAGE is also the front man for an AMERICAN BLACK METAL band called EYES OF NOCTUM. Although the band claims to be BLACK METAL, I have doubts about this. I don’t know much, if anything about metal, but I believe that BLACK METAL has the characteristic of shrieked vocals and EYES OF NOCTUM have quite a lot that are growled, as you will see in the clip below, so maybe these guys are more of a BLACKENED DEATH METAL band. Anyway, like I said I don’t really know, but for those of you who are into music, there are some pretty insane sub genres of metal, which I will come back to next ANGRY TUESDAY.

Anywho, here’s the angry work of WESTON CAGE, and if you were introduced to people as often as he is, in the way that I introduced him at the top of this article, it’s no wonder he makes music like this…hell, I’d be angry too.

*****

F**KED MONDAY - LOU REED/METALLICA

Everybody knows that Mondays are fucked… so I’m giving you music that is fucked…

Love it or hate it, it is still fucked…

The Descent into Hell

When the end of days is near, there will be a fire from the depths of hell that starts spewing from the worlds major volcanoes. This will last for an usually long time. Hells stench and fury will be seeping up through our drainage systems, underground tunnels and finally coming up through the cracks in the pavement of the streets we walk and live.

Cities will burn, people will melt before our eyes, and just before the climatic explosion that destroys all faith and innocence, there will be a music collaboration between two hell fires that will either save humanity, or condemn it to Sodom.

But what sort of music collaboration could be so huge yet so fragile, as to have the possibility to bring back the human race from the brink, or open up the underground gate to the hell armies of Satan?

I can barely say it, or write it, with a straight face, but LOU REED and METALLICA have been collaborating on an album which as METALLICA drummer LARS ULRICH says, is 90% finished.

Metallica

The album was recorded over the last few months in METALLICA’s recording studio just north of SAN FRANCISCO. The recordings were originally meant to be of ‘fallen jewels that nobody remembered,’ as Lou puts it, but just a week before Reed was due in the studio, he decided to change the shit out of the plan and instead record songs that Lou-boy had written for the ROBERT WILSON directed, FRAN WEDEKIND written, theatrical production LULU, currently playing in BERLIN.

With songs named PUMPING BLOOD and MISTRESS DREAD you can form a pretty good idea of what the 10 track album will sound like.

Lou Reed wearing Oakleys

Collaborations such as this are always fairly risky; you have two extremely different fan bases to cater to, both with preconceived ideas of what it should sound like and whose influence should be dominant on the album. You’re never going to please both parties.

Nevertheless I am interested to see how the collaboration turns out on the album that doesn’t currently have a release date due to both LOU REED and METALLICA being free agents without record labels.

Reed claims the pairing up is a ‘marriage made in heaven,’ but I’m yet to be convinced if it will be one hell of a collaboration, or a collaboration from hell.

Check out the footage of when LOU REED and METALLICA first hooked up to play live at the ROCK N ROLL HALL OF FAME 25^th anniversary in NEW YORK back in 2009. It kind of makes me think of someone’s dad jamming in the garage with their kids…and Louie keeps on looking suspiciously at the METALLICA boys, waiting for them to come over and bottle him. The crowds reaction is also interesting when LOU REED is announced, first they cheer and then they boo, and then they cheer some more. BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

*****

HUNG SUNDAY - THE MASTERS APPRENTICES

A day marked by regret and depression – the worse it is, the better the night before was.

Is it possible to become obsessed with a song by walking past a Hungry Jacks and seeing the film clip playing on a wall-mounted LCD TV through a glass window?

It most definitely is, even if it only lasts a day.

The Masters Apprentices

The film clip that caught my eye was the late 1960’s/ early 1970’s AUSTRALIAN band THE MASTERS APPRENTICES – IT’S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I stood there kinda mesmerized as I recognized the intro to the track, initially thinking it was going to be for that fucking car advertisement. I hate it how advertising can ruin really good music, but that put aside, amongst the teenage skateboarders overstaying their welcome in the burger joint to take full advantage of the Hungry Jacks refill policy I was able to enjoy a thoroughly good AUSTRALIAN classic that is just as inspiring as the girl in the clip is beautiful.

John Farnham and Glenn Wheatley

(Have a look at the ridiculous hair and ties going on in the photo above.)

It was also cool to see a young Glenn Wheatley well before JOHNNY FARNHAM convinced him to cheat on his taxes…Just Kidding, good Ol’ Johnny would never do something like that.

He’s an honest bloke JOHN FARNHAM, and when he says something, he means it, like when he announced that THE LAST TIME tour would signal his retirement from large full scale national tours back in 2002.

Awesome Photo of John Farnham

He would then go on to perform live in 2003 when he was inducted into the ARIA’s Hall of Fame, tour nationally with TOM JONES playing 10 shows in 2004, four live shows at the OPERA HOUSE in SYDNEY in 2006 with the SYDNEY SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA followed by shows at the VICTORIAN ARTS CENTRE’s HAMER HALL in MELBOURNE, not to mention his AUSTRALIAN tour with FLEETWOOD MAC singer STEVIE NICKS in 2006, the 2006 COMMONWEALTH GAMES closing ceremony, his 2009 LIVE BY DEMAND tour, and, get this, he’s about to tour nationally on the WHISPERING JACK 25 YEARS ON tour throughout October and November of this year, 2011.

It’s a bit of a laugh, but you can’t hold all those shows against him. Some of them were one off performances for award ceremonies, fundraisers, and the closing ceremony. But there are also another 4 national tours including the upcoming 2011 tour that contradict his retirement from large full scale national tours. One fan was so pissed off about it, that he tried to sue JOHN FARNHAM for false advertising from his THE LAST TIME tour. Perhaps he could strike up an agreement that says anyone who bought tickets to THE LAST TIME tour gets access to any other national tour that stops in their region if they still have the ticket to THE LAST TIME tour.

Anyway I’ve gone way off track here. For those of you who are unsure why I am talking about JOHN FARNHAM, it’s because GLENN WHEATLEY of THE MASTERS APPRENTICES is his manager. A fairly loose link I know, but I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to whinge about JOHN FARNHAM and his THE LAST TIME tour bullshit again if I didn’t do it today through this loose link (tick in the box).

Check out the clip below for THE MASTERS APPRENTICES song IT’S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU off their 1971 release CHOICE CUTS through EMI and get inspired!

*****

BEAT DOWN SATURDAY - DIGITALISM/JULIAN CASABLANCAS

Nothing screams Saturday night like dance music, get your clubfoot stomping to this one!

Digitalism

DIGITALISM’s follow up LP to their hugely successful 2007 debut IDEALISM is set to drop today (Monday 20^th June 2011) through V2 RECORDS (founded by Sir Richard Branson). In true internet age form the album titled I LOVE YOU DUDE was leaked a while back and has made its way into every nook and crannie of the EDM blogosphere so perhaps I’m a little late on this one, but I prefer to think of it as a gesture of kindness and patience to wait for the official release date.

I Love You Dude

The guys were recently announced as one of the headline acts for PARKLIFE 2011. The last time the pair were out here they brought in 2010 with a band at HARBOURLIFE.

Here’s a track co-written by THE STROKES front man JULIAN CASABLANCAS called FORREST GUMP. Casablancas collaborated with the guys through email. JENS MOELLE has said the song is about “Constantly keeping on moving otherwise you’ll be in some sort of psychic peril.” Run Forrest Run!

*****

FUTURE FRIDAY - [ME]

Here’s where shit gets serious…really good music of any genre to get your weekend into gear.

[ME]

Melbourne band [ME] are about to take a sledgehammer to the roof of the underground. These guys have been working hard over the past few years drumming up hype around their theatric stage performance and 3 minute rock opera anthems. All the writing, rehearsals and touring up and down the east coast of AUSTRALIA is about to come to a head as the guys plan their 3 month trip to the UK to record with legendary producer BARNY (ARTIC MONKEYS, KASABIAN, FRANZ FERDINAND).

It takes a lot of hard work for a band to get noticed in the music industry, to stand out in the highly saturated music market that sees 100’s of acts performing in every major city, every weekend, and all with a dream of ‘making it’. Having a point of difference is a huge plus, and if you’ve seen [ME] in full flight live, in their expanded form, you can see why the guys caught the eye of UK label LIZARD KING RECORDS (THE KILLERS, SANTIGOLD) at an industry night.

I caught up with [ME] bass player Michael Godde after a blistering set at TONE in SURRY HILLS, SYDNEY, to see what the guys have been up to. I started off by asking Michael to give me a bit of a run down of what [ME] are about.

[Me] Interview Part 1 by zero headed one legged

[ME]’s UK visit will see the guys step up to the next level to record their debut LP with LIZARD KING RECORDS. But what does this mean for the band? Higher quality recordings, and exposure to an international audience, thanks, in part, to the patience they showed in waiting to sign to the right record label.

[Me] Interview Part 2 by zero headed one legged

Playing live is [ME]’s bread and butter, and when you see their live show in its expanded form, it’s no wonder the guys have been given complete creative control. Check out [ME] with a massive posse of guest musicians playing the EAST BRUNSWICK, MELBOURNE back in August 2010. These guys really know how to organize, plan, and execute a visually stimulating neo-rock spectacular.

[ME] Interview Part 3 by zero headed one legged

This is a hugely exciting time for [ME], ZERO HEADED ONE LEGGED will definitely be keeping an eye on these guys and look forward to their return from the UK for more bombastic theatrical rock.

LIVE THURSDAY - DFA 1979

Go see some live music on a Thursday, everybody knows you’re worthless at work on a Friday anyway, so no-one will care if your slightly hung from the night before – your boss probably is too…

FUZZY announced the PARKLIFE 2011 line-up earlier this morning through the usual outlets, and it’s a pretty darn big line-up at that. Covering the genre’s of ELECTRO, DISCO, POP, PUNK, and a whole lot of DUBSTEP – arguably the most influential DUBSTEP to appear on an AUSTRALIAN festival line-up ever including super group MAGNETIC MAN, NERO, JOKER and FLUX PAVILLION.

Magnetic Man

The FUZZY crew definitely know how to give the kids what they want. The usual haters are saying shit like “so they’ve gone from the cheesiest electrohouse acts to the cheesiest dubstep acts this year,” which is a fair comment in some respects, but most people would just prefer you to shut your mouth and go back to the psy-trance bush doof happening somewhere out in the Nimbin bushlands.

Here’s the Lineup: DIGITALISM, MYLO, LITTLE DRAGON, MSTRKRFT, SEBASTIAN, EXAMPLE, KATY B, GOSSIP, LYKKE LI, SANTIGOLD, DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979, DUCK SAUCE, NAKED AND FAMOUS, ADRIAN LUX, SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO, MAGNETIC MAN, NERO, DIPLO, CRYSTAL FIGHTERS, SEBASTIAN TELLIER, FEED ME, KIMBRA, WOLFGANG GARTNER, THE ASHTON SHUFFLE, JOKER & MC NOMAD, THE STREETS, TENSNAKE, HARVARD BASS, FLUX PAVILLION, STRANGE TALK and YACHT CLUB DJ’S plus a heap of local acts.

There are a lot of highlights on the list, and quite a diverse bunch as well, click on the red names to check out some music from some of my favourites.

Death From Above 1979

Check out DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979 playing live at COACHELLA 2011 below. The clip proves that it is hard to be a drummer as well as a lead singer, it’s hard to form a decent song melody with just a bass guitar, it’s hard to create a live spectacle with just two people on stage, and it’s hard to look good when you’re all sweaty wearing a tight pair of white pants.

*****

HUMP-HOP WEDNESDAY - TRAVIS BARKER/THE COOL KIDS

Get through you’re hump day with some Hip-Hop.

Blink 182

Remember BLINK 182? The late 90’s/early 2000’s bubble gum punk band that dominated the charts with their catchy three minute teenage anthems laced with tongue in cheek toilet humour? A producers wet dream for the lucrative tween market even before it was known as the lucrative tween market? I certainly do. These guys called it a day back in 2004, and a couple of years ago decided it was the right time to get back to it!

BLINK 182 have had an album in the works for the past 2 years but delays have pushed the record release date to September 2011.

Anyway, I didn’t really want to talk about BLINK 182 today (maybe some other time), instead I was more interested in their drummer TRAVIS BARKER, the skinny guy with the tattoos who didn’t talk as much as the other two.

Travis Barker

Well he’s been quite busy since BLINK 182 called it a day. He’s played in other bands – BOX CAR RACER, played live with a DJ – TRV$DJAM (DJAM was a dude from the band CRAZY TOWN that had the number 1 mega smash hit BUTTERFLY back in 2001, he passed away in 2009 after overdosing on drugs), started a record label LASALLE RECORDS as well as release a solo album earlier this year titled GIVE THE DRUMMER SOME. The album has a heavy Hip Hop slant to it and features an army of collaborators: LIL’ WAYNE, PHARELL WILLIAMS, LUPE FIASCO, RZA, RAEKWON, TOM MORELLO, SNOOP DOGG, LUDACRIS, BUSTA RHYMES, LIL’ JON, SLASH, KID CUDI, TECH N9NE, CYPRIS HILL, and STEVE AOKI. Quite the list. I wanted to give you a peak at one of the tracks from the album that he did with the CHICAGO/DETRIOT hip hop duo THE COOL KIDS.

Sir Michael Rocks + Chuck Inglish

THE COOL KIDS have their debut studio album due out July 2011 titled WHEN FISH RIDE BICYCLES, Quite an unusual name for a hip hop album, but not so unusual when you look back at the mix tapes that THE COOL KIDS have released including GONE FISHING and TACKLE BOX. These guys are either really into their aquatic life/sports or fish and fishing are being used as some sort of euphemism. TRAVIS BARKER returned the favour and features on a track for WHEN FISH RIDE BICYCLES, whilst other notable collaborators include MAYER HAWTHORNE and GHOSTFACE KILLAH.

Check out the complete lack of budget/effort put into the clip for the track off TRAVIS BARKERs debut LP GIVE THE DRUMMER SOME featuring THE COOL KIDS – JUMP DOWN. There is a dump truck, and some shitty looking cars in it.

*****

ANGRY TUESDAY - NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL

Something about Tuesdays makes me angry… I don’t know what it is. Maybe because it’s such a nothing day.

Mayhem

 Does it get any angrier than NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL? The music trend that sparked a spate of church burnings and murders during the early 90’s? The answer is…no.

These guys were in bands with names such as MAYHEM, DARK THRONE, DIMMU BORGIR, SATYRICON, ENSLAVED, and my personal favourite BORK NAGAR.

Burning Churches

The media portrayed them as Satanists, which is bound to happen when you start burning down buildings with such historical and emotional importance as a church. But I prefer to see these guys in a different light, they were more like a pack of idiots disillusioned with the mainstream ‘establishment’ trying to one-up each other to see who was the most hardcore by burning churches and stabbing people…wankers.

I also have quite a problem with the idea that NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL involves church burnings and stabbings because as far as I can see, it only involved a handful of idiots out of a whole music scene. I don’t mean to be perpetuating the stereotype through this blog. A lot of the guys involved in the NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL scene seem like mild mannered generally intelligent guys, as highlighted in the documentary UNTIL THE LIGHT TAKES US.

The music lacks the classic verse chorus structure, includes various signatures including high pitched screaming vocals, as well as lots of face paint and as you can see in the film clip below, barbedwire.

Check out MAYHEM performing DEATHCRUSH live in MARSEILLE back in 2000. The concert also featured other bands including NECROBUTCHER and HELLHAMMER… I love NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL band names.

*****